“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime and falling in at night. I miss you like hell”- Edna St. Vincent Millay.
Most of us have experienced a loss at some time in our lives. Whether it’s a betrayal, the loss of a pet, a divorce, or loss of a job, but nothing compares with the suffering experienced after losing a relative or close friend.
The death of a loved one brings up many anguished and often haunting questions. Will I ever see my loved one again? Are they gone forever? How can I survive without them?
For some this profound sadness can last for many years.
Such was the case for 55-year-old Beth whose husband had died 7 years earlier from a brief and aggressive thyroid cancer just 8 weeks after his diagnosis. “It was so sudden and unexpected. He was my whole life. I still feel so lost, it’s as if I’ve lost part of myself. I feel like I am walking through a deep fog and can’t find my way out.”
When Beth came to see me, she appeared anxious, sighing frequently as she talked about her profound sadness. Since her husband’s death, she’d had difficulty sleeping and often woke up sobbing. Beth had a history of childhood asthma but since her teens, had been asthma free. After her husband’s death, her asthma had returned, and was now much worse than her childhood asthma. Just going from the house to the garage made her wheeze. Even her toothpaste made her cough. Beth’s sorrow is an example of someone who’s been unable to assimilate grief and a state of anxiety, insomnia and depression has developed. She still has the symptoms of someone who is in a state of acute grief. It’s as if her husband died last week. She needed a homeopathic remedy to help her process her grief. I saw Beth 6 weeks after her initial appointment.
Within days of taking the homeopathic remedy, Ignatia, her asthma improved dramatically. For the first time in 7 years she could go out with her girlfriends and have a good time. She still misses her husband terribly but can see the possibility of a new chapter in her life beginning.
While homeopathy cannot take the loss away, it can help us come to terms with our loss. The homeopathic approach will help the grieving person come to a place where they may feel that they can cope. The homeopathic approach helps you assimilate your grief and not be overwhelmed by it. The homeopathic medicine will give you the strength to heal.
Below are just a few of the remedies commonly used for grieving situations.
Grief remedies:
Ignatia
Ignatia is usually the first remedy that is considered for recent, acute greif. These individuals tend to be sad and irritable. They become introspective and ‘moody’, preferring to grieve alone. Noticeable symptoms of a person needing Ignatia are crying/sobbing, sighing, sobbing, sleeplessness and a need for solitude. It is common for them to feel an uncomfortable lump in their throat. Thoughts of the death or incident constantly dominate their thoughts over long periods of time.
Natrum Muriaticum
Very effective homeopathic remedy for grief and sadness where there is much weeping, but the person does not want any consolation. Any attempt at consolation meets with anger and/or embarrassment. Sympathy from others worsens the symptoms. This individual wants to cry alone. They frequently become indifferent to life. This is typically a remedy for long standing grief. Those needing this remedy feel worse between 10-11 AM, have a strong craving for salt and feel uncomfortable from the heat of the sun.
Pulsatilla
The person is usually grieving silently with much weeping. They are gentle, mild people. Unlike Natrum Muriaticum, the Pulsatilla individual likes to be consoled. They can’t discuss their problems without crying. Pulsatilla individuals feel better in cool open air, tends to be warm blooded and are thirstless. Their symptoms tend to move around the body.
Aurum Metallicum
Aurum Met is for the severely depressed; it’s a very effective homeopathic treatment for grief with deep, black despair, as if there’s a black cloud over everything. This depression is worse in the evening. The person needing Aurum met. is a very moral, conscientious person with exceedingly high standards. They often seek solace in music, prayer or meditation. The present and future look so bleak they are not sure life is worth living.
There are many other grief remedies and as always, in order to find the appropriate remedy we must match the characteristic symptoms of the patient with the characteristic symptoms produced by the remedies.
How to take remedies: Use either a 30C or 200C potency. Put 1-3 pills under the tongue. When you experience some relief stop taking the remedy and don’t repeat unless your symptoms return.
As always, feel free to reach out to me with questions and concerns or for additional information.
-Marcia